Monday, February 1, 2010

Depression and Me

I was one of those people, you know the ones because if you are reading this you are one. A Disbeliever.
Add it up, I ate all the time for something to do and yet nothing tasted like anything more than cardboard. I gained tremendous amounts of weight, which made me feel worse so I wouldn't go out with friends or on dates. The less I went out the tireder I got, I couldn't sleep at night despite my feeling exhausted.
I started to get calls from my friends asking me to join them to the movies or on a shopping trip. I always had an excuse, soon the phone calls stopped and I felt even worse.
But I wasn't depressed, no not me..............................Yea, right.
I was up one night, I think it was about 2am and I was stuffing my face with a lovely box of Oreo cookies and a diet Pepsi watching infomercials about miracle exercise machines and diet pills thinking they might be the answer to all my troubles. When one of those commercials came on that ask all those questions that a curiously aimed right at you, you know the ones that kind of creep you out how right they are?

"Are you feeling really sad, tired, and worried most of the time? Are these feelings lasting more than a few days?"

It was one of those pivotal moments in time that made you want to slap your forehead and say 'Stupid!' So I got on my computer and did a little research with my Oreos in hand, I found a lot of information and a place to help me out. I was so engrossed in what I was reading, I didn't finish the bag of Oreos! I found...

Malibu? Yea right. That;s the land of the pretty people, the skinny girls and their perfect boys. Not for a nearly 300lbs insecure person that's for sure. But everything I read about the place seemed perfect, just like the barbies that paraded about the place. So I decided to make them my first stop on my road to recovery.
I discovered that because of the length of time I had suffered, 3 and a half years, that I would do depression long term treatment and to do that I felt my best option was to stay somewhere, all my family lived on the east coast.
So I found depression treatment in Los Angeles, Ca which wasn't far away from my home in San Bernadino.
I checked myself into the depression treatment center where I learned to understand the symptoms and how to identify why and what triggered my downward spiral. Going there was probably the single most important thing I have ever done in my life. The setting is so tranquil and serene. It made it easier to make the necessary changes in me and my life.

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