Depression is a silent killer, and those of us caught in it deny it every step of the way. Everybody sees those commercials on television about it, they list the symptoms and you think 'yea, I got that one, that one, oh and that one too. But I'm not depressed....I don't suffer from chronic depression. It's easy to lie to yourself, and you can try and hide it with 'I'm just out of it for a bit, things will pick up.' Or 'I'm just having a bad day- again.' Don't kid yourself, I did for 5 years. I wouldn't acknowledge that my mood swings where because my body was trying to fight itself. I'd cry for no apparent reason, I never wanted to go anywhere, sleep always seemed like the best thing to do, and when that wasn't an option I'd hide in books or behind my computer surfing the web for hours looking for nothing in particular.
One day I came across a website that listed all the signs and symptoms, it even said much of what I have, that those of us in the throws of depression don't realize it and thousands of cases a year go undiagnosed because nobody mentions it to their doctors. This website listed the ways they can treat depression with the luxuries i require to still be in my life. This Rehab Center not only listed just the basics about depression but every variety of depression their is. After reading it, I sat back and thought about the last 5 years. They should have been filled with amazing and happy memories, I'd had 2 kids in that time...but the memories were few and far between. I realized that I was no longer fighting by myself but for my kids and my husband.
I knew then things had to change. I researched depression online, read blogs of people who had dealt with it and how they had overcome it.It's been about 6 months now that I have received treatment at Sunset Malibu and now I can say that I am truly happy. Yea, I still have down days...but the loneliness and isolation feelings are gone. I remember to find the silver lining in every situation regardless of how small and seemingly insignificant it may be. To know its there makes all the difference.Find your drive, find whatever you can that makes you smile and start from there.